The More the Mary-er
by L. M. Masquerade
Summary: We are the few, the strong, the normal. We are Mary Sues' bane, the Death-Bringers. We are the end of the perfection. We roam the earths, searching, saving, seeing. We are... Sue-Slayers.
1. Chapter 1: Introducing Lily

**A/N: I'M A BETA NOW! :D PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me Beta on of your stories, people! Anywhoo, enjoy this story. :)**

The League of Mary-Sue Killers

~Lily, League of Mary-Sue Killers HQ (aka Lily's room), 11pm~

"We need more MS Killers." A tall, pale girl of about 14 with long, shiny, straight dark red hair and brilliant green eyes glared at the computer screen in front of her. She had a slight English accent.

"They've infiltrated Harry Potter, Warriors, and countless others. And Twilight, well Twilight was a Sue story to begin with."

She stood up and brushed Cheez-It crumbs from her distressed skinny jeans and black "We've got Potter. 'Nuff Said." T-shirt. Something in her pocket buzzed and she brought out a tricked out iPhone 4. Every MS killer got one. She tapped the 'New Message' button and sighed when she saw the message. _Lily, there has been a new story in the Harry Potter section titled 'The tail of Aph'rodite Maria Jewel Perfect Serena Pal'metto' by AphroditetheGryffindoor. Find and kill the Mary-Sue. Save the Potterverse._

"Great. ANOTHER one," Lily growled.

She walked back over to her dresser and picked up her simple tools: a celestial bronze dagger (the only thing able to kill Mary-Sues), her Gryffindoor robe, and a roll of magical rainbow duct tape. (Don't ask.) The redhead walked back to the computer and opened a file titled 'Story Warp'. She typed in _'The tail of Aph'rodite Maria Jewel Perfect Serena Pal'metto' by AphroditetheGryffindoor _and clicked 'Enter Story'. There was a warp tunnel-thingy with random things, such as a cow, ninja, a hunk of swiss cheese, and a feast from the time of ancient Rome, flying around in it. Lily landed smoothly in the Gryffindoor common room, earning no weird looks because everyone was fawning over a tall, tan girl with long, shiny, sparkling, luscious, perfect blonde hair, shiny, straight, beautiful white teeth, a slim yet curvy figure, and large, sparkling aqua orbs that shone with years of abuse and sadness. She was not dressed in school uniform, but instead in a pink silk miniskirt and a VERY low cut silver sequined tank top that exposed her bellybutton and cleavage. Lily grumbled and walked up to her.

"Hello, not-as-pretty-as-me girl. I am Aph'rodite Maria Jewel Perfect Serena Pal'metto."

The Mary-Sue went back to letting Harry Potter and Ron Weasley argue over who should get her. Hermione and Ginny ran up to Lily.

"Help us!" They begged.

"That Mary-Sue has stolen our boyfriends." Ginny hissed.

"Let me blend in for 1 day before I kill her and restore their sanity, 'K?" With that, Lily turned to go up to the dorm rooms.

She saw that instead of the normal dorm rooms, there was a large suite with fluffy pink silk pillows and a soft pink bed.

"AH THE PINK! IT BURNS IT BURNS!"

Lily covered her eyes and ran toward where there looked like normal dorm rooms at the end of a hallway that shouldn't be there. She entered a door labeled "Boring Room" and relaxed when she saw the usual stone walls, stone floor, and five four-poster beds. She collapsed on the bed and saw Ginny and Hermione come in.

"G'night."

~Lily, Hogwarts, 8 am~

Lily was up and out of bed.

"Do we have classes?"

"No, because all the teachers were locked up in St. Mango's because they were all perverted and wanted to have sex with me."

Lily just stared at Aph'rodite and turned back to her book.

"Watcha reading?" Hermione asked, looking over the redhead's shoulder.

"Guide to Mary-Sues and How to Kill Them."

"Cool."

Lily finally found the right type.

"The Literate Harry Potter Mary-Sue: How to Identify It.

•All the teachers want to have sex with them

•Harry, Ron and/or Draco fight over who gets the girl

•Has weird apostrophes in random spots in their name

•Never wears school clothes; instead, they wear slutty clothes

•Has a suite all to themselves

•Have changed the layout of the castle and grounds for yet unknown reasons.

Check, check, check, check, check, and checkmate. We've got ourselves a Literate MS. I act at lunch. "

Lily read through her guidebooks to MS's many times over until lunch.

~Lily, Great Hall, 12pm~

"The time to act is coming soon!" Lily muttered to herself.

She gripped her magical duct tape and dagger and ate a sandwich she brought, earning some weird looks and whispers of "Freak. See that freak over there?" Lily shrugged and prepared herself for her super funtabulous task of destroying Aph'rodite Maria Jewel Perfect Serena Pal'metto.

"Ooh, Harry and Ron, how about we go into my dorm after lunch and have a threesome?"

Ginny and Hermione tensed. Lily readied herself, and pounced.

"My Aphiekins!" shrieked Ron. Hermione slapped him.

Lily aimed for the Mary-Sue's most vulnerable spot: the bellybutton. She raised her dagger, laughing like a maniac.

"You can't kill me with that stupid dagger!"

"It's celestial bronze, dipshit."

"Oh. Shit."

"No duh."

Lily, still manically laughing, stabbed the Mary-Sue in her bellybutton. The Sue exploded into ink and and sparkles. Lily turned and plastered the magical duct tape on Ron and Harry's heads. She ripped the tape of, removing the obsession over the Sue with it. Lily nodded to the students and pulled out her iPhone. She pressed an app called "Back" and was whooshed away throughout the same weird warp/tunnel/thingy.

~Lily, League of MS Killers HQ (aka her room), 12:30pm~

She polished her dagger and smirked as the story poofed from FanFiction . Net. And that was the end of Aph'rodite Maria Jewel Perfect Serena Pal'metto.

**A/N: IF you want to join the League, just PM me about your author persona. Remember to include name, looks, weapon of choice, and personality. Thanks TONS,**

**Lily**


	2. Chapter 2: NOTICE

_**The More the Mary-er**_

_L. M.__Masquerade_

**Oh my God! You guys kick butt! I did not expect the overflow of OCs! It 'twas overwhelming. I have changed the catagories because of interests changing, and, well, the new Percy Jackson books suck. I'm sorry I've been away for over a year! For those of y'all still lurking about, please pay attention to the following: **

**Because I received about 40 characters, I will ask you guys to send them in anew, only please PM me this time? I will ask that you guys fill out the following form:**

**Name (Have it tie in with your Preferred World, i.e. Lúthien Melwasúl for LotR and Lily MacDougal for Harry Potter):**

**Age:**

**Appearance (Keep it realistic? You guys are all humans. All of you. Even you, elf-lover in the corner.):**

**Personality: **

**History (Again, keep in touch with the Preferred World):**

**Preferred Weapon (must be mithril or goblin-forged, depending on Preferred World):**

**Preferred World (Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter):**

**Alrighty! Any sent in by 12/14/12 get a spot in the next chappy.**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Lúthien Melwasúl, Lily MacDougal, L. M. Masquerade**


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